If you’ve clicked on this link, I can only assume you are curious to learn about k-pop or interested in k-pop already.

Welcome my friends, to the rabbit hole that never ends.

If you thought k-drama could be all consuming, I warn you now, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

I am going to be open and frank about my k-pop journey, admittedly a trip I never thought I would take. When I began watching drama in 2020 and quickly became interested in the Korean language and culture in general, the one thing I vowed to myself I would not do, not ever, was become a k-pop fan.

Even before ‘everything K’ came into my life, even I had heard of the term k-pop and sniggered at its hordes of screaming teen fans waving their little glowsticks and obsessing over idol boys.

And while those fans most certainly exist (and yes, some are even really quite crazed), there is also a MASSIVE cohort of fans who are not like that at all.

Or maybe we just hide our craziness better than others…

So here is my story.

I discovered k-pop through one voice.

And this voice I actually discovered through a drama.

I watched a rather cute and funny historic story called 100 Days My Prince, following Kim Seon Ho at the time (coming off my Start Up k-drama agnst – but that’s another story), and unexpectedly had delivered to me Doh Kyungsoo and his dulcet tones. For those of you yet to experience his voice (and believe me you should, it is a gift to us all), let me assure you he has a lovely low, calm and reassuring tenor.

Admittedly, it was actually his acting that most impressed me at the time. And the boy can act. I will say I have now watched most of his projects and while I will firmly agree they were not all winners (Room 7 – I’m looking at you), the one thing you cannot fault is his performance in each. To be honest, if I had to choose between either his acting or his singing talent, I’d be hard pressed to decide which I like more.

But I digress.

So, new actor discovered, on I went with the usual Google hunt that takes place after watching a drama to see what else I might want to watch them in, which is when I discovered this…

I had never heard of Doh Kyungsoo before watching his drama, so I had no clue that he was better known as D.O., one of the lead vocalists of EXO (also no clue who they were), that he was days away from finishing his military service (wait, what?), or that what my life had been waiting for was this song and this voice to save me.

And that is how it started.

I understand why my ‘life saving’ sentiment this may seem overly dramatic to you, let me assure you it isn’t. Let me also assure you it isn’t an uncommon theme with k-pop fans (and possibly music fans in general?), it is a common denominator for many of us and one you see posted on numerous forums.

We all have times in our life when things get hard; we might have just been dealt a hard blow, lost a job, short on money, lost someone close to us, or just have some big life questions floating around that we can’t solve. And at these times we need something or someone to help us. And for some of us I have discovered, that help comes in the form of music. And specific to k-pop; an all singing, all dancing, life affirming group of guys (or girls!) who simply bring a huge dose of happiness and hope to your life.

As I said, for me it started with one voice. One voice and one song.

And when times were hard, when I was sat on the floor in tears, my stress and anxiety levels off the charts, questioning everything in life and literally pulling my hair out; I would clamp my headphones over my ears, turn the volume up as loud as it would go and listen to this voice over and over again.

And then I could breathe.

I know little to nothing about psychology or biology, but I can imagine there is some scientific reason for this reaction. And no doubt a reason that now, when I hear this voice and those of the eight others I have come to know so well, that I feel instant comfort.

The feeling of calm. Of contentment. Of home.

No doubt this is some type of therapy. Some form of self-soothing.

I have now been listening to my selection of Korean music (and just for clarification this includes many drama soundtracks and random songs I’ve picked up along the way as well as run of the mill k-pop) for about a year and a half.

And I am not lying when I tell you that I literally have a soundtrack to my life now. I live in a permanent world of melody. At night I fall asleep with my music playing and wake up to it still gently lulling me in the background. While I ready myself for work, travel to work, at work, travel home from work, while making dinner, while writing essays or reading, while taking a shower; there is music almost 24 hours a day around me. It is a blanket that covers me and gives me warmth and comfort during every minute of the day.

So just remember, for every crazed k-pop teeny bopper you spot, there are probably a dozen others like me sitting somewhere quietly thankful for the music that simply helps us through our day.

BUT…

I’m not going to lie.

While the above is totally true, it’s not the whole story. For I haven’t really explained much about the k-pop side of things that aren’t just about listening to the music. Because while that is what drives me, it isn’t the whole picture.

The picture also includes things like this…

Yeah.

As I said, the rabbit hole.

Kyungsoo’s “That’s Okay” was just the beginning.

I just wanted to hear more. I had one song to hold onto, but I wanted more. So I went looking for them.

I ended up finding that at the time, with the exception of one or two short songs, Kyungsoo’s voice was always one part of a whole. If I wanted to hear it and enjoy it, I would have to do that alongside the other voices.

And so, I made friends with EXO.

It’s odd, looking back now, because I was in fact quite upset and really rather annoyed at having to listen to a group of people I wasn’t actually interested in, just to hear the person I was. Initially, I didn’t like what I was hearing. Really, I wanted quiet and calm songs. Maybe a few ballads. But most of what I found was a type of music foreign to me. It was upbeat. It was ever changing. I would listen to one song and be taken from start to finish through what sounded to be rock, electric pop, rap and a bit of crooning. I had no clue what this was supposed to be.

And when you hear the term k-pop, what do you think of? Pop music, right? Catchy, cheesy music. I can’t also help but think of Brit pop which was a thing in the 90’s when I was growing up, so I imagine something in the vein of Blur and ‘Park Life’.

But that’s not at all what I was hearing.

However, once you find yourself entrenched in k-pop, you do come to accept that it’s just a term for ‘popular’ music. The music itself takes many different forms and styles, but it is still all labelled as k-pop no matter what.

Anyway, I persevered.

Every now and then I would put an EXO song on and let it swirl around in my head and see what my brain made of it. And as seems to be the case, there is always one specific song that sets me off. And for EXO, it was this…

Having listened to nearly everything in EXO’s playlist by now, I can say that Monster is probably still my favourite of theirs. Maybe it will always be lodged in my heart given it’s my gateway song for them. Hands up, a lot of it has to do with the video too. It’s the legs and the twisty twiddly dancing that sets me off. Mostly because I can’t work out how they do it. All that speed and co-ordination.

And after Monster, all the other songs just somehow began to make sense.

I began to appreciate the changeable style. I enjoyed that every single song was different, from each other, at times even from itself as it went along.

I delighted in the different member’s vocal tones and strengths. I secretly relished the moment I began to recognise individual voices when they sang, how familiar they became to me.

And for those songs with video and choreography, the producers should be commended and the dancers praised for their skills. They are a whole universe in themselves. To me, Kai will always be the pure embodiment of music in human form. He dances from his soul and his movement is just liquid. It’s really quite phenomenal.

And so now is probably a good time to acknowledge the next stage of the K-pop rabbit hole, meeting the individual members.

Next to “the music saved me”, probably the most often uttered words of a new fan will be “but I just wanted to know their names…” Because it’s true, and it seems such a small and harmless thing until…

791 continuous hours later, you not only know their names but have watched every single interview, variety performance, and concert on YouTube to the point you could write detailed analysis on every member’s singing and dancing style as well as their personality type and quirks; you have followed each member and their management company on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook etc. and probably also signed up to VLive, WeVerse and Lysn; marked all of their birthdays in your diary, have downloaded 6341 photos and videos to your mobile phone and made a sizable dent in your bank account by ordering every single album, DVD, fan meeting release as well as random merchandise in the form of k-pop photo cards, lightsticks, fluffy toys, bracelets, posters, and general tat that you have somehow convinced yourself you need in order to survive one more day on the planet.     

Or at least that’s how it went for me. (And actually every single other k-pop person I know)

And now that the initial heady days of falling into that rabbit hole and consuming every piece of content you can find are over and you find your wallet is indeed empty, what are you left with?

Well, a strange kind of a family almost.

A group of people I have never met, but probably know better than some of my relatives.

A group of people who are with me in various ways from dawn until dusk, and then watch over me while I sleep (literally).

A group of people who are a source of comfort and coziness, security and relaxation.

A group of people who energise and excite, who can put me in a fit of giggles in seconds and keep me there for hours.

A group of people who may be with me for a season, a reason or perhaps the rest of my life, but for whom I am eternally grateful to have found when I needed them.

So, to my EXO dongsaeng: D.O., Xiumin, Sehun, Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Kai, Chen, Suho and Lay; thank you for being my one and only k-pop adventure. You’ve been worth every crazy moment.

A few extra notes

Seriously, you made it this far down the page? I commend you for your tenacity.

If you are still here and looking to dive into your own k-pop rabbit hole, I wish you the best of luck.

In the world of fandoms, I consider myself an EXO-L and that is it. I am what the industry considers a ‘single stan’. I do not follow multiple groups, though I am perfectly able to appreciate the odd song here and there from other groups.

Honestly, I think if I tried to follow any other groups my brain would explode. There is simply too much content from a single group to cope with any others in my opinion. EXO have been on the music scene for years, I just attended their online 10 year debut fan event. Therefore for me, that is a decade’s worth of music, video, TV, film and drama to plough through and catch up with, let alone anything new they keep throwing out.

Plus, I literally would be a beggar on the streets. Buying merchandise is crippling and I am glad I have come out of that stage relatively unscathed. 

With that said, here are my offerings to you should you wish to try a few k-pop related things:

D.O. recommendations

Since I first started listening to his music, D.O. has released his first solo album called Empathy (공감).

This is the title track ‘Rose‘, but I encourage you to listen to the full album, it has magical healing powers.

EXO recommendations

An eclectic mix of videos to give you a flavour/variety of the music they produce. Honestly, I often find that their dance practice videos are more enjoyable to watch than the official music videos.

Mama – Debut music video – this was their debut song in 2012. Skip to 1.30 in the video to start the song as it has a long ‘concept’ intro at the beginning.

Call me baby – Live stage – Japan concert (a masterpiece of live stage. TIP – turn off the subtitles!)

Sing for you – Official music video

Electric Kiss – Dance practice

Overdose – Official music video

The Eve – Dance Practice and Live stage

Open Arms – Live TV performance (with 4 members of the group, not long after they debuted)

And if you are ready to go all out…

EXO PLANET#3 The EXO’rDIUM in Japan Concert (2hrs 53mins)

SHINee recommendations

While I am a solo stan, the closest I’ve come to stepping into another fandom for a brief glimpse has been for this group – SHINee.

Another older group, they have actually been around longer than EXO and in my opinion have a completely different music style, which is probably why I haven’t gotten fully on board with them, but appreciate certain snippets they throw out and the member’s personalities themselves.

As with EXO, SHINee got my attention through a single voice, Jonghyun, a member of the group who is sadly no longer with us. However, his voice grabs at my heart as much as Kyungsoo’s, just in a different way. It sounds a little melancholy to say, but for me personally, one hurts like hell and the other heals; and I love them both for this ability.

Here are my suggestions for Jonghyun specifically as well as a couple of full group songs.

Please don’t go – Live concert (duet with Jonghyun and Onew – they both have almost operatic voices)

I’m sorry – Live stage (Jonghyun solo)

Jonghyun playlist (my favourite compilation with solos and group songs)

Tell me what to do – Official music video (my favourite group song so far)

Lucifer – Official music video

Ring Ding Dong – Official music video (and the song with the best lyrics ever….lol)

K-drama soundtracks not to miss

These are just a couple of the OST’s I have enjoyed the most, some fully (what I consider no skip albums) and some where particular songs have grabbed me.

Crash Landing on You (full album)

Goblin (full album)

Hotel Del Luna (full album)

It’s Okay, That’s Love (about half the album)

My Mister (about half of this album but to be honest I searched for individual songs from this as the instrumental tracks are hauntingly beautiful and not necessarily on the main album)

Places to go for merchandise (might need a VPN, Google translate and a small bank loan)

If you are in the market for some k-pop goods, these are the places where I have bought some of mine, both here in the UK and overseas. I accept no responsibility for anything you buy or if you hit bankruptcy in the process.

Depop (this was probably the most dangerous site for me at 1am in the morning)

Mecari (this only seems to work if you have a USA address)

Buyee (Oh, for the love of a Chen k-pop card)

Neokyo

Ktown4U (expensive shipping but fast items, I buy most new albums from here)

Kpoptown

Lysn (for Bubble – text messages with EXO)

Interpark (I have bought tickets for live streaming Korean musicals here)

Beyond Live (I have bought tickets for fan event here. FYI – I needed to use a VPN to access the actual event though)

I hope that you find something here to enjoy, even if for a brief moment. If you have any questions or (shock!) would like to chat k-pop at any time, feel free to get in touch.

사랑하자!